This Is To The Woman Who Was Young In The 1990s
I almost deleted this post. It was too raw and personal. Then I thought about you.
Photo: Lexie Adape
Walking proud and tall down the city street
to the accompaniment of cat calls and whistles
because back then those jerks believed they could do it just because they could.
Pulling all-nighters to get yourself through college
because you were the first person getting a degree in your clan.
Busting your back in a shitty job because you held your dream close to your heart
and knew you’d get there and do whatever it takes.
Committing to what was on the other side of all that sweat and pain.
Trying to work it out all on your own because the world around you told you to suck it up and live with it.
Crying into your pillow at night and feeling like you were the only one not getting it.
Delivering miracles on demand because you felt that was the only way to fit in.
Girl, now we know.
No one was getting it.
A lot of them were shrinking in fear,
All of them were feeling their way in the dark.
But you somehow stepped up
you pulled the weight
you held on to your faith
you answered the call
and you made it work.
And after all that,
as you were folding under a burnout, health vanishing,
you were smeared as “a good reminder to us all not to be such a workaholic.”
Girl,
(stop taking that “girl”, BTW, even from me, another girl)
You are a victorious woman.
Powerful and desirable.
Freaking awesome.
The day you arrived on this planet, you hit the ground running, you knew
this life has a way bigger meaning than just being nice and good with a potato peeler.
Deep down you’ve always known that you’re a kick-ass alpha and only insecure people would use it as a label.
You are a frigging kick-ass alpha because you know what’s on the other side of that pain, shame, and fear -
it’s the next generation you fought tooth and nail for to have self-respect and daring goals;
it’s transformed communities who have access to education and pure drinking water;
it’s other humans embracing their true worth.
You did it all in spite of gaslighting, being told you were too emotional, bleeding from the glass ceiling shards, and braving storms.
You’re worthy.
Here’s to bruises and wounds and life to the full.
I cheer for you.
Don’t you dare to fold your wings.
You’re so not done.
And you’re only beginning.
Take a full breath.
You’re not alone.
If you’ve read this far it means there’s a chance we’re kindred spirits.
I invite you to raise your hand and connect with me. If not in the comments - send me a message,
And subscribe.
PS: I’ve prepared something for you next Friday.
Cheers, another woman who was young in the 1990s.